Sometimes I think too hard about the fact that Dean is terrified of flying
and Castiel is an angel - life in heaven, wings, warrior of God - the whole shebang.
I think about Dean, in time, asking Castiel (in a roundabout manner, of course) questions regarding his true form, angel hierarchies, his family, his garrison.
I think about how this all ties in with Dean’s constant marvel at everything Castiel is and is not -
a fearless warrior, a pacifist
older than dirt, a baby in a trench coat
all powerful, reduced to nothing by a ring of oil and a match
a hammer, the one with too much heart
dead, not dead, dead again
the opposition, his best friend
not humandefinitely not human
more painfully human than he ever imagined
These things both bug the shit out of him
and don’t bother him at all
(because if you can’t put it in box you understand then you push it aside, forget it, don’t deal with it, and for the love of god you stop thinking about it).
But most of all I think about Castiel flying with Dean.
He doesn’t give him any warning.
One day Dean just closes his eyes in a huff
fully expecting the firm press of Castiel’s fingers against his forehead, zapping him instantly to their destination and tying his digestive tract in a knot
but instead he finds himself in soaring through air.
He tenses the second he realizes what is going on
his breath quickens
his heart races
and when they hit the ground he throws a full-fledged bitch fit
but Castiel isn’t fooled.
He’s spent too much time studying Dean’s face like he’s preparing to defend his dissertaton on the man for such a hastily thrown-up facade to fool him.
Dean’s scared, but it isn’t because of the flight.
He’s scared that it didn’t freak him out like it should’ve.
He’s scared that because he was just rocketed around God knows how far up in the wild blue yonder
but because Cas was there
and Cas is Cas
he felt okay.
‘Cause I have lived my life afraid
to take to air
but I think I would be all right
if you were there